Take My Advice – A.S

Blonde hair black hair, brown and red

They’ll always do something different in bed

Blonde hair, submissive, they take what they get

Never complain, always a safe bet

Black hair, just dirty, pure fucking filth, they’ll

Sit on your face, until they squelch

Red heads are dangerous, they’ll rip you apart

They always make you finish, whatever you start

Depending on how you look at it, I’ve had a good life

Only 20 years old, and I know what I like…

The Worst Day of my Life – A.S

The worst day of my life happened around three months ago; involving my long term girlfriend and two kids. We were living in a 2 bedroom apartment in the middle of Salford, quite happy, then one day I came back after a weekend away. Tanya confronted me saying someone had told her I’ve been going away every month to see another girl. She started shouting and screaming, throwing anything at hand at me. After a while we both sat down talking. Someone had told her that every month I go away it is to Birmingham to see another woman and she believes it is true. So I had to tell her where I was going. And now I’m explaining how every month five of us meet up in Leeds and do one armed robbery somewhere in Yorkshire. That is the only reason I go. Now you would think that would be a bit better; no a lot worse. Now I am not a cheat I am a lying cheating criminal who she has been with for four years and knows nothing about. She started screaming and shouting and told me to get out. So I left and went to my brother’s house for the night. I woke up early the next day and Tanya was already up with the kids. I just went in and sat down; asked what she wanted to do. She said she just needed a few days. I agreed and went to stay at my brothers for two days, waiting my heart pounding, head spinning. I phoned her up and asked her if I could come see the kids; she told me she is gone. Wants nothing more to do with me and I am not to try and contact her, and put the phone down. I went on a crazy bender drinking everything. Lost it, robbed a bookies on the next estate. Blew all the cash on drink and fell asleep at a mate’s house, got woken up at 5am with armed police in my face, got taken to the police station, up in court, now in jail expecting 14 years to life!

When I got out – J.C

Walking through the gates and standing there is Toe, Jones and Mickey, who are me mates. It is the first time I have seen them in four months. Jonesy, real name Michael James and little Mickey, also known as Bristo. I have known these two for years but the Toe, Ian Hitchmough, I have only known him for about four years, but he is a funny kid. The three of them shake my hand and then we jump into the car which is a new Ford Focus, because Jonesy has just passed his test and his Dad has bought him this car, which is nice. Before we hit the motorway we stop at the shop to pick up some silver skins and 10 Embassy No.1. So we hit the motorway and Mickey said “build a joint Burnie” so I do. I am sitting in the front passenger seat so I pick the lighter up and put the joint in me mouth and spark it up. I have a few pulls and I feel smashed. I pass the joint to the Toe who sucks it to death. Anyway about one hour and twenty minutes on the motorway I see the sign that says welcome to Liverpool. Now I feel excited. I say to Jonesy, who is driving, “go to Broadway to get my hair cut”. So we do the left on to Townsend, a two minute drive we are there. I step out of the car and walk into the hairdressers, lucky it is empty. I sit down and ask for a short back and sides, number one round the sides and back and cut with scissors on the top. I step out of the hairdressers with a fresh haircut and feeling great. I say to the boys “take me home”, so they do. I arrive outside, Jonesy says “we will knock back in about two hours”, so they drive off. I walk up to the door and open it. I get attacked by the dog, Monty, a Bullmastiff. I look around. It looks like she has been decorating. It looks nice. And there she is with her arms open and she gives me the biggest hug and kiss I have ever had. We sit there talking for hours. Talking about what I have missed. Jonesy, Mickey and the Toe beep outside, so I go out. They say to me “we’re going to have a bevy with all the birds” I say “fuckin right”. So we drive to the boozer.

The Worst Day of my Life – D.H

The worst day of my life was the 4^th February 2005, when I heard the judge in Liverpool Crown Court take no mercy and tell me I was to remain on remand in Altcourse for four weeks. Instead of sending me to Altcourse I was sent to the shit-hole that is Lancaster Farms.

Since the Probation cocked things up for me and ‘forgot’ to carry out my pre-sentence report I have to stay here in this ‘exquisite paradise’ for a further two months.

But the thing that makes it the worst day of my life was seeing the look on the angelic face which belongs to my gorgeous fiancé. I could see the pure hatred and how much she despised the judge and the look of sheer pain of loosing me in her bright blue, shimmering, tearful eyes.

Seeing her at visiting time isn’t enough for her to take in. Hopefully if her love for me is as strong as mine for her (which I know it is) we’ll both see my time here through.

When I’m free and I see my Fiancé – D.H

When I get cut out of prison you’re the first thing I’ll see

Then straight back to mine with a bucket of K.F.C

A lighter, ciggies and rizla are the only things we need

Just me and you and no one else, except an ounce of weed

Our flat is nice, complete by your sense of style

I can’t wait to see your golden hair, bright blue eyes and your gorgeous smile

I can’t wait to cook you breakfast every single morning

You’re still gorgeous when you wake, even when you’re yawning

So don’t stress out, keep your head up, I’ll soon be by your side

In my dreams we’re holding hands through the sky we both shall glide

The Party – D.K

I went to this party last year; it was the best so far. My and my cousin and a few others, on Paddy’s night, in the poor club, last year. Had a few drinks, and bought some pills and some weed. The party was coming to the end, so we went to a friend’s and that was where the fun started. We got our stash of pills out from when we went out and started to get proper smashed. We had a mike out and were all chatting. It was sick. The police came and said turn the music down or we will confiscate the system. We turned it down till they went and turned it back up. We partied all night and I tripped out. It was sick; that’s the best party I went to.

Arrival at Prison – T.W

I’m nineteen years old. I’m systematic and meticulous in my approach to learning and advising others. I thrive to succeed when set tasks, which help me and benefit the public. The public is my main concern, as for the law aspect of things as well. Throughout my life it has been accentuated that my dialogue can be very ambiguous and misinterpreted by authorities assuming the wrong meaning of what I say or am trying to express ceremoniously.

Stepping out of the ‘Sweat-box’ was a fearful scene; but they repeat this remark. The situation was totally abstruse. I saw two huge silhouettes in the entrance to the prison reception area. What was I yet to experience?

I was disconsolated and totally abashed, but continued according to the prison process. I was a little abstracted when asked questions and thought that what was being done was utterly abominable.

I was unable to express oneself fluently and coherently, when told and not asked for permission about them taking my picture, I was feeling ambivalence. The officer stated, I could smile. Well I burst out laughing. Even at this stage I was being very attentive. Recognizing some officers were callous, rude and unpleasant in manner. Where other officers candid, candour and would have a bit of banter. I assumed, the day would have got better until asked to take my clothes of. That was bamboozling to my young brain. I thought what a load of balderdash. Ha Ha, very funny boss, I only take my clothes of for bootilicious women! But then bemused even more I was given one red t-shirt, one red jumper and red tracki bottoms. Categorically I blatantly had to wear them.

Whilst I stood there in the reception area all in red, I could see myself as the devil, it made me feel choleric, cold-hearted and deserving to be despised or hated. I lost my dignity and bold ways.

I had great conformity and was congenial. I heard shouting of inmates cadging burn. I thought and knew if they give them burn it will be calamitous. It always is in prison. As the majority of inmates are callous and take advantage of candid people like myself. I also seen loads of other trainees dressed in the same outfits as me and juveniles but they are all in green. They reminded me of stories from being a toddler, about Father Christmas and his little helpers! Green little elves!

My experience on my first day in prison wasn’t what I expected. I thought it was a piece of rehabilitation. I must accentuate that it’s not all the officers’ fault. It’s just the criminal culture of how people behave and things inmates do to each other, with exceptions.